Robert Elwell

"Don't come here expecting Michelin star quality. The food was just okay. The service was bad. The experience was not worth going out of your way for. Oh, and there was no toilet paper in the bathroom."

"Beautiful estate, fantastic wines."

"Pretty good cheese. Wish they had non-dark chocolate. You can feed the goats for a dollar. And I don't mean you feed them money, stupid! I mean you can buy a bag of hay."

"Consider using this space for your next attempt at time Travel using gustatory means. Perhaps peel your eyes into the back of your head and assault your stomach in full force with lactose"

"They now offer a selection of rare high-end wines by the glass. This is their Coravin selection, named after the device used to keep wine fresh in a large-format bottle after opening."

"Try the Sutton Cellars vermouth with a twist of lemon! Light, delicious, and straight out of the Dogpatch!"