Mike Barron

"Hashbrownz all da way urrryday u know u wanna taste dat hashbrowwned lyfe."

"Nasty Natzke loves the cock."

"This is the right one."

"I still haven't seen the purple bikes. They are a lie. I picked Oakland for free bike access and there is no free bike access. Purple Huffy where are you?"

"If you park at Applebees and cross the street, you're five minutes from class. Plus, the Macaroni Grill next door plays sexy Italian jazz that acts as a personal theme song when you exit your car."

"Longboard Lager is as great as it sounds."